Have 
you read the book or seen the movie “The Princess Bride”? Or is that a silly question at this point? If you haven’t please just take a second to beat yourself about the head and shoulders area. I will wait.
Just kidding. We do not advocate fighting or beatings here…only smiles. Unless of course it involves a duel with Count Rugen. (This is the part where you can boo and / or hiss if you want to.)
The Princess Bride is a 1987 American romantic comedy fantasy adventure film (does that sort of cover everything? I rather think so.) and was directed and co-produced by Rob Reiner who played Michael Stivic, son-in-law of Archie and Edith Bunker played by Carroll O’Connor and Jean Stapleton, on All in the Family. The Princess Bride is based on the 1973 novel of the same name by William Goldman. In the film, the book was read by a grandfather played by Peter Falk to his staying home from school because he is sick grandson played by Fred Savage of Wonder Years fame, thus effectively preserving the novel’s narrative style.
In The Princess Bride the lovely Buttercup is kidnapped by a ragged group of three intent on creating an international incident and soon they find they are pursued by the Dread Pirate Roberts who just might be Westley, her one true love. Also after everyone is mean Prince Humperdinck to whom Buttercup is now reluctantly betrothed but who seems to care little for her happiness or survival. The stage is set for…
“Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, True Love, miracles….”
The Princess Bride film was initially a modest success grossing $30.8 million in the U.S. and Canadian box offices on a $16 million production budget and Siskel and Ebert gave the film a “two thumbs up”. In North America, the film was released on VHS and Laserdisc in 1988 and everyone went wild making the film an instant classic. Over time The Princess Bride was nominated and won several awards and made it onto or at least nominated for many ‘Top Lists’ such as AFI’s 100 Years 100 Movie Quotes for “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father; prepare to die!”
Every one seems to have a favorite scene in The Princess Bride. I like so many of them but I think this is the one that makes me smile the most:
Vizzini is seated behind a covered table. Buttercup, blindfolded, is sitting to his left. He holds a dagger to her neck. On the table is a bottle of wine and two goblets. The Man In Black approaches the Table.
Vizzini: So it is down to you, and it is down to me. If you wish her dead, by all means, keep moving forward.
Man In Black: Let me explain–
Vizzini: There’s nothing to explain. You’re trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen.
Man In Black: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?
Vizzini: There will be no arrangement, and you’re killing her.
Man In Black: Well if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.
Vizzini: I’m afraid so. I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.
Man In Black: You’re that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way: have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man In Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.
Man In Black: Really. In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Vizzini: For the princess?
The Man in Black nods.
Vizzini: To the death?
Nods again.
Vizzini: I accept.
Sheaths dagger.
Man In Black: Good. Then pour the wine.
Sits, pulls out a small vial, uncorks it, and offers it to Vizzini.
Man In Black: Inhale this, but do not touch.
Vizzini: (Sniffs vial.) I smell nothing. (Returns vial.)
Man In Black: What you do not smell is called Iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.
Vizzini: Hmm.
Man In Black Turns away from Vizzini with the goblets, to pour the poison in. Goblets replaced on the table, one in front of each.
Man In Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right… and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man In Black: You’ve made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man In Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: WAIT TILL I GET GOING! Where was I?
Man In Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man In Black: You’re just stalling now.
Vizzini: YOU’D LIKE TO THINK THAT, WOULDN’T YOU? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong, so you could’ve put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man In Black: You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.
Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
Man In Black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose– What in the world can that be?
Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. The Man In Black looks.
Man In Black: What? Where? (Vizzini switches the goblets. Turning back.) I don’t see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. Smirks.
Man In Black: What’s so funny?
Vizzini: I’ll tell you in a minute. First, let’s drink. Me from my glass, (Picks up glass.) and you from yours.
They drink.
Man In Black: Pointing. You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha– Stops suddenly, and falls dead, to his right.
The Man in Black removes Buttercup’s blindfold.
Buttercup: Who are you?
Man In Black: I’m no one to be trifled with. That is all you ever need know.
He unties her hands and feet.
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man In Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to Iocane powder. He grabs her arm and they run off.
*************
There are so many fun scenes and quotable lines in The Princess Bride it is certainly hard to choose just one.
If you have not seen The Princess Bride movie I highly recommend it. As well, I suggest you read the book as there was a lot more character development in the book.
Have fun storming the castle!
Oh, but before you do… How about leaving a comment? Answer these two questions if you will:
(Script courtesy of www.princessbride.8m.com. There you can read the entire script all color coded and very nicely presented.